


Simon Lewis’ guide on How To Be (Un)Dead

by StupidPoetry



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 01:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6883867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidPoetry/pseuds/StupidPoetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 easy steps to accept your new life as a vampire, by yours truly</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simon Lewis’ guide on How To Be (Un)Dead

1.  
Once you’re out of the grave your best friend  
and a Captain America wannabe dug for you,  
while she stands there with a brave face,  
actively hate yourself. Hate your best friend.  
Hate the one who helped you.  
Oh, they meant well? Don’t let it bug you,   
it’s an important step.

2.  
Once you stopped hating yourself  
(it will happen),  
text your Mom a quick  
“I’m not dead”.  
She will think you’re on drugs.  
You cannot change that.  
You will miss her hugs and her food  
and her presence. Suck it up.

3.  
Learn to like the taste of blood.  
Based on what you know now of your undead life,  
you’d better get used to it.  
Don’t think about dead animals.  
Don’t choke on metallic taste  
and don’t vomit. It will be  
a waste of a perfectly good snack.

4.  
Nightmares will come, but don’t wait for them  
to take you six feet under,  
even though you remember how soil   
tastes like. It’s not real.   
You will still feel like you’re choking again.  
One day this wound will heal too,  
but for now  
focus on soft Spanish flooding your ears.

5.  
Manage to fall in love.  
It appears it’s possible   
for someone to love you back,  
especially now that you wear all black  
and look ten times hotter  
than before.  
You swear you have abs.  
Make out with him against every hard surface  
you can find,  
including the door to your room.  
Be content with the fact that  
you will not go futher.  
Find out that falling asleep  
in his arms is easier  
and nighmares-free.  
Decide that being (un)dead  
is not bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!


End file.
